Share the Land & Pizza Equally

Note from Cletis: In an effort to improve the historical awareness of our readers, we will periodically publish little known but vitally important personal information concerning the men and women who have shaped our lives. We have meticulously researched our findings but use of this information is not recommended for your dissertation in that our source material was recently destroyed in a fire.     

    

In life Karl Marx, founder of modern day communism, was known as "The Mooch" by those who knew him well. He actually conceived The Communist Manifesto when a fist fight erupted after Marx snatched the last slice of pizza from Friedrich Engels while Engels went to answer the door. Engels' wife did not appreciate it as Karl had been staying with them for three years and had never contributed a penny to the household.

After the fight, and nursing a fat lip, Marx stomped off to his room and sulked for three days. When he emerged, he had his justification. "From each according to his ability to each according to his need." After reading the Manifesto, Mrs. Engels went to the kitchen and made a large pizza which was shared equally. Little did anyone dream that one day an impressionable, young Russian named Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Lenin) would read far more into the Manifesto than Karl had intended.

Editor's Note: Marx was known for his incomparable ability to hide food under his clothing while still appearing to be concerned with weighty, intellectual matters. "I can take no credit for this gift," Marx is said to have remarked. This statement and Marx's denial of the existence of God have led to bitter debate among historians as to the meaning of this comment.